Coming Soon: Daybreak!

I have stared at this for hours. It's the interface for my editing system. I am working at my temp job during the day, coming home, collasping on the bed for 30 minutes, then editing videos for a client in NC. It is really late now, and I have to get up in an hour and a half to do this routine again. Right now, I feel like I am insane. Not like, "I'm insane because I'm pulling such wicked hours!", but more like, I feel like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. I am staring at the screen wide eyed and paranoid. In fact I can't believe I'm writing this right now. And, the left side of my body has a dull pain running from my shoulder and into my arm, and then my upper thigh is tingly and painful. So much that today it was starting to make me nauseous. I told my friend Peter about this and he said he knew the dull pain, so that was comforting. At least I don't have a new spontaneous stress disease, just good old fashioned rickets or shingles.

Really things aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be, I'm just really tired right now and do feel a bit nuts. Speaking of nuts, here's a crazy fact. The temp place where i work (which shall remain nameless to protect it and myself...let's just say it's called "Ank Of Omerica", wink wink....just kidding...no, it's really not that) has had a couple employees with some really interesting names. The kind you double-take at.

My three favorites: George Michael, James Fallon (I call him "Jimmy") and Michael Jackson.

Maybe in a state of tired delerium tomorrow (or today, whatever) I'll saunter on up to the King of Pop himself and challenge him to a duel, Beat It style. "What's that Jacko? You wanna dance? Lemme introduce you to my team dance partner, and Sr. Accounts Manager, another employee here you know all about...Mr. Michael. WHAM!"

Jitterbug.

Outbreak

I'm sick today. I've actually been sick for a couple days, but it finally caught up with me yesterday. I lay (laid, layed, lain....i dunno) down at 4pm and slept until that night, then slept til' 11:30 AM this morning. Right now I've been up for about 3 hours, which is the longest I've been awake in 2 days. It's weird because i have this feelng in my body that I'm intoxicated, I can't totally feel my legs or arms, can't hear everything clearly, and I end up staring a lot. I feel another sleep coming on soon. I REALLY want to get well. However, there's something nice about being sick because you get this license to chill out and sleep and do whatever you want for a little bit. For instance, when i finally ventured out of the apartment today for the first time in 36 hours, I was set to buy some soup, juice, bread, and medecine (I am a proponent of naturopathic medecine such as herbs, home remedies, etc., which i've been practicing for about 4 days now, but today I couldn't take it....Mother Nature needed a hand from Mother Corporate Laboratory). While at the local Duane Reade drug store, I paid for my stuff and left. Upon getting outside, I realized I was sick and could do things I wouldn't normally do, so I went back inside and bought two, TWO!, Cadbury chocolate bars. Now I didn't do anything nuts that I wouldn't normalyl do, like scream at a baby or anything. If you're sick and taking notes on this, remember, normal moral boundaries still apply. Don't wear a cape and nothing else outside just because you have strep throat. I know strep is bad, but come on. At least wear some boots.

I like themes in life. So I take opportunities like this to listen to songs like, "Sick", by The Casket Lottery. It's not a particularly relaxing song, but I identify with the chorus:

"I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm siiiick!!!"

Hey dude, ME TOO! Yay!

Also, when I'm sick, or bored, I end up looking on the internet. Actually, if this statement is true, I must be sick or bored everyday. For the sake of this post, I won't unpack that statement now. Anyway, I love skateboarding. I have for years. And now, I'm 28 and I love skateboarding. I think it's cool, amazing, fun. But what makes me love it more is companies like Girl and Chocolate that bring back the community and family feeling of skateboarding. These guys just have fun hanging out with each other and skating. Word up. I spent some time today watching videos on their site. There's even a funny video on there of Brandon Biebel, a pro for Girl Skateboards, doing a trick pool shot called the "Choo Choo Train" (I think there's a swear word on this video...don't take offense yo, I mean none). I have so much respect and admiration for these guys too because they are amazing at what they do, and do it with so much creativity. I could stare at it for hours. Wait, I did.


































It is dark again outside. So I suppose I'll prepare to sleep again soon. I really hope I get well soon, I need to take a shower and get cleaned up. Soon I'll be back to the Cory you all know, and I won't look like this anymore:




















I'm just kidding I look nothing like the Crypt Keeper. He has blue eyes. Crazy.

The Office

Wow, it's good to be back! Hello world, daddy's home! I mean, people was like, "Where are you? Why aren't you on the blog?" And I was like, "Calm down Jada Pinkett-Smith, I'll get to it when I got time, girlfriend. Besides, while you're sweatin' me, where's you're jiggy husband, girl? And what are you doing on Ozzfest? I mean, step off"
Anyway, the past couple weeks have been pretty crazy. I've moved apartments, traveled, turned a year older, and spent some time in the trenches of the 9 to 5 corporate world. And also I've watched "9 to 5" with Dolly Parton, an insane movie, that is worth a watch if you haven't seen it, especially for the 3 dream sequence/fantasy scenes.

I spent two weeks temping at a large construction firm, in their HR department. What this meant was I got to file papers for 8.5 hours a day. While testing my extreme limits of boredom, this job also allowed me insider's access into employee files where I could read productivity reports, goal tracking sheets, termination letters, praises and reprimands, pretty much any info on the employee the company had on each employee.
My favorite bit of info was a letter of resignation written from an employee. It read:

" Dear Sirs: I have enjoyed my years with this company and the training and growth I experienced here. However, I must move on and my resignation is effective 2 weeks from this date. I apologize for any incontinence. "

I suppose if I dealt with any incontinence while with a company I would want to clear it up in my resignation letter as well.

When I moved to New York I had a fantasy about the business world. I always thought it would be cool to have a business job and get dressed up in a suit everyday and go to work in the daily rush. Due to financial reasons recently, I had to go to a temp agency and get the HR job I've been talking about. This was my big chance to live my big city business job dream and join the hustle bustle life. Welllllll, long story short, that fantasy wore off when I was in the temp agency office and I realized I'd actually have to work 9 - 5 and that wouldn't actually be that cool. At least I got this picture which represents my idealized view of what this life would've been like. Trust me it wasn't this cool. Not when I got to the office and the big news was that there was a new coffee machine in the breakroom. And then finding out that the coffee machine did the exact same thing, same kinds of coffee, just a new look, new buttons. Added mystery...that was not so mysterious.

I do have to say that the people I worked with were nice. So if they ever google this and read this, they'll know that it wasn't them that caused me to write about all this. But if they have googled this and read all this way thinking they may find some dirt on themselves, all to realize that I was just bored with a mundane job, well, I apologize for any incontinence.

Watch Improv On Bravo This Week!!!

This week, Bravo is airing a Live-to-Tape show of the Upright Citizens Brigade doing long form improv. The show is called "A.S.S.S.S.C.A.T. Improv" and it stars the original UCB (Amy Poehler, Ian Roberts, Matt Walsh, Matt Besser), Andy Richter (of Late Night with Conan O'Brien), Tina Fey, Horatio Sanz, Rachel Dratch (all of SNL), and others. It airs Wedenesday, September 7th, at 11PM. It should be really funny and it's the best way for you to see some good long form improv, which is what I'm taking classes and doing up here in the biggest of apples.

For more info, click here (http://www.bravotv.com/ASSSSCAT_Improv/). Or here (http://www.ucbtheatre.com/ny/).

TiVo it, tape it, watch it, and tell others. Peace!