Spam Marketing, One Investor At A Time

This morning, I was priveleged to wake up and find that an eager broker posted some hot news via a comment to my last post. You gotta get up pret-ty early in the morning to impress this stock hound (at least before 9:30 am), but after reading this hot news, color me impressed.

Lewis Smith...

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOT STOCK TIP!!!

Without people like you, all of us normal folk would miss out on great opportunities like this one! It's the same wonderful people like you who email us from the far reaches of countries like Ethiopia and Dubai and offer generous riches in exchange for our bank account numbers. And only so you can use them to transfer your thousands, no, MILLIONS of dollars! And you're willing to give us a portion! Lewis, you and your colleagues are saints! I love getting their emails, pretty much daily! Are you the same gang that came up with Bill Gates' email tracking program that pays a penny for every email it tracks? You genius! You know, I sent that along when I was back in college, and i bet by this time it's gained a fortune for me! You know what they say...."a penny saved is a penny earned". But a penny forwarded...that might as well be a penny invested! And it's all thanks to guys like you Lewis!!
I applaud your unorthodox efforts! Most brokers would be out there working for their clients, and maybe getting new clients by letting their firms advertise. But posting your explosive news to a comment on a small blog? Genius! Here are your worms...you deserve them because you're the king of the early birds! I know stock brokers are up early, and you left this comment at 6:56 am. I wonder if you were up all night searching random blogs and websites waiting to drop your tip on the poor and needy, like a cyber Robin Hood! You know, i would think the only thing up late at night sending out long forms of cryptic financial information to people unrelated to them would be some sort of tracking computer. But Lewis, you're not a computer! NO! What am I saying? Why would I think that? Ha! Now I'm crazy!
Lewis, if you or any of your smart-as-a-whip business friends have any more hot "blue chipper" stocks (is that right? "blue chipper"? I dont' know! I'm such a schmuck at these things!!), keep me in mind. Just post that info by way of another unrelated comment on this here blog, or better yet, forward it to my email! I mean, where else would I go if I want serious financial advice? E-trade? Ha! Or better yet, an actual brokerage firm, like the one attached to my current bank? PLEASE!! Oh, someone get me a bib....I just drooled on myself from laughing so hard! Lewis, you go girl!

Overheard In The Bleachers

Here's a good quote overheard by Dave Miller and I at a Red Sox game recently. Spoken from a scholar and a gentleman....

From a guy talking to a girl that was sitting beside him:
"Trish, if you make out with a meat eater, you're pretty much a meat eater."

True dat.

I wanna dance!

After returning to New York from a weekend wedding in NC, I've been online looking at actor's resumes. After careful consideration of how to put to one together, and noting my own lack of "real world acting experience", I've realized I'VE GOT NOTHING.


But at least I got this:
















I don't need no stinkin' headshots!!


By the way, Donald and Tracy's wedding was AWESOME. Congratulations you two crazy Franco-American kids.

False Advertising

Moving to New York is a lonely thing and some days you really want some companionship. The other day I was walking home and saw this interesting flyer.




Is this a message from above, from a guardian angel in the form of the original Swinger, Vince Vaughn, who's trying to pump me up? "Hey, things aren't happenin' in your timing, but chin up young man, cause' I got a message for you! That's right, all these birds in this Big Apple we call home, they like something...what is it? Read the flyer my man, read the flyer."

I looked from left to right, and peered into this summons of enouragement. Hey, if a guy feels down on his, luck it's nice to know that the opposite sex thinks he's A-OK. Even if you can't pay the rent, can't catch a break, your Mets tryout got cancelled due to the fact that you haven't played left field since 4th grade....at the end of the day, you've still got this. The sirens of New York sing to you that you're fetching.

"You're fetching!" (in song)

So I looked closer.






I hate you New York.