Tis' The Season Day 7 and Day 8 - Double Edition
Friends, Sorry I missed yesterday as I was out sick. Pretty much writhing all day and throwing up (sorry to get graphic). Although, it reminded me of a comment I heard from a co-worker the other day who wasn't ready for all the holiday cheer and decorations yet, and that leads us to the make-up post for yesterday.
Yesterday's Topic: Holiday Decorating
Female Co-Worker: "It looks like Santa threw up outside."
I think this is what she meant:
Well, I'm glad Santa's throw up is a little prettier than mine, and I think his doesn't involve dry heaving, so that's a plus for the fat man.
Today's Topic: Santa
Remember when you first found out Santa wasn't real (if you're young and reading this blog...uh, wait, he is real, he's totally real, I'm talking about Saaantana, the guitar guy...he's a fake, totally made up, actually, he's really Hendrix, just after Jimi faked his death and had an ethnicity transplant)? I remember, I think I was in first grade. A sunday school teacher had told us at church that he wasn't real and that mommy and daddy were lying to us, which I think is a little lame to tell a bunch of kids that, personally. I think his logic was that after our childhood idols of the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny were also unmasked as phonies like Santa, eventually we'd disbelieve our parents when they told us God was real. We'd say, "Yeah, just like Santa!? Whatever Dad, I'm gettin' on my motorcycle and takin' off...Santa, God, they're all the same! Whatever! Yoooouuu liiiiied!!!" (screeching tires and wheelie noise follow)
But I also remember some kids told me in line at lunch. I came home and asked my mom and I think she finally broke the news to me after I pressed her on the issue. In a fit of dramatic rage I remember throwing some scissors down and saying, "What about the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny? And God too!?" (So maybe the teacher was right....) I distinctly remember doing that to be dramatic and hoped for a dramatic TV-like response like, "No, God is real! We're sorry, don't be upset! Hurrah, Christmas is saved!!" But instead, she did what any good parent would do to a kid that had just freaked out and thrown a cutting tool across the room and said, "Listen mister, you better pick up those scissors, I don't know what's gotten into you...". Things ended up great, Santa actually came to visit us that year at a Christmas party, and we got presents from Santa that Christmas and all the way until present day in my life. And we don't ask any questions. Here's a picture of Santa holding a cat from a funny website StuffOnMyCat.com.
Yesterday's Topic: Holiday Decorating
Female Co-Worker: "It looks like Santa threw up outside."
I think this is what she meant:
Well, I'm glad Santa's throw up is a little prettier than mine, and I think his doesn't involve dry heaving, so that's a plus for the fat man.
Today's Topic: Santa
Remember when you first found out Santa wasn't real (if you're young and reading this blog...uh, wait, he is real, he's totally real, I'm talking about Saaantana, the guitar guy...he's a fake, totally made up, actually, he's really Hendrix, just after Jimi faked his death and had an ethnicity transplant)? I remember, I think I was in first grade. A sunday school teacher had told us at church that he wasn't real and that mommy and daddy were lying to us, which I think is a little lame to tell a bunch of kids that, personally. I think his logic was that after our childhood idols of the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny were also unmasked as phonies like Santa, eventually we'd disbelieve our parents when they told us God was real. We'd say, "Yeah, just like Santa!? Whatever Dad, I'm gettin' on my motorcycle and takin' off...Santa, God, they're all the same! Whatever! Yoooouuu liiiiied!!!" (screeching tires and wheelie noise follow)
But I also remember some kids told me in line at lunch. I came home and asked my mom and I think she finally broke the news to me after I pressed her on the issue. In a fit of dramatic rage I remember throwing some scissors down and saying, "What about the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny? And God too!?" (So maybe the teacher was right....) I distinctly remember doing that to be dramatic and hoped for a dramatic TV-like response like, "No, God is real! We're sorry, don't be upset! Hurrah, Christmas is saved!!" But instead, she did what any good parent would do to a kid that had just freaked out and thrown a cutting tool across the room and said, "Listen mister, you better pick up those scissors, I don't know what's gotten into you...". Things ended up great, Santa actually came to visit us that year at a Christmas party, and we got presents from Santa that Christmas and all the way until present day in my life. And we don't ask any questions. Here's a picture of Santa holding a cat from a funny website StuffOnMyCat.com.
posted by cory cavin @ 10:25 PM
8 Comments:
At 4:50 PM,
Burly said…
My mom took my sister and me to go see Back to Future II in the theater many years ago. The bulb burned out during the opening credits, and we had to wait until the next day to go back to the theater. Needless to say we were crushed ... much as I was crushed yesterday when I discovered that there was no day 7. I was even more crushed when you pretended like it didn't matter when you lumped day 7 with day 8 ... like we wouldn't notice ... all 3 of us who read your blog are crushed. You oughta be ashamed.
Love you,
Burles
At 3:34 AM,
cory cavin said…
Dear Burlys,
Stop letting your son post to my blog.
At 10:35 AM,
Burly said…
my son is more mature than I am ... 'cept when he poops his pants.
At 12:55 PM,
cory cavin said…
Hey, by the way, there's 4 people that read this! You, your wife, your son, and me...I reread it like 4 times after I post.
At 12:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
Miles, Kona Bean, and I all read it too!
At 11:42 PM,
cory cavin said…
Yay! Kona Bean can read! That's amazing!
At 3:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
Cory, I read it!
At 10:05 AM,
cory cavin said…
Sister! I know you do! thank you!
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