Let's Make A Deal

Tonight on the way home on the subway, I sat across from a guy wearing a shirt that read this:

Power Does Not Make Deals
Power Does Not Need To Make Deals
Power Does What It Wants

Although from his look, I would guess this man's name was probably something like John. Not Power.

John had to get that shirt somehow. And although he was sort of big and wearing Air Jordan's and a knee brace, I'm sure he had to make some sort of deal, possibly with a store, to get that shirt. Therefore:

John Makes Deals.
John Makes Deals With Men's Retail Clothing Outlets For A Living.
John Makes Use Of His Currency By Trading It For Clothing He Wants At Foot Locker.

Good job John. Powerful.

Baby's First Birthday

Saturday was my one year anniversary of living in NYC (my NewYorkiversary as some friends deemed it). I celebrated with a traditional New York diner standard: an Egg Cream. An Egg Cream actually has neither eggs nor cream in it - just seltzer, chocolate syrup, and milk. It's a weird, carbonated Yoo Hoo.

So I enjoyed it alongside what I like to call a Turkey Roll - neither turkey nor a roll, but just oatmeal, raisins, and brown sugar. That's right New York. Two can play at that game.

Bringin' The Heat

It is officially Summer in New York City and this weekend Mother Nature put her gloves on, and punched New Yorkers in the face with the Summer heat. I was no exception.















Above: Mother Nature connects with a left hook of 91 degrees.

Affirmative Big Mac-tion

With new salads, parfaits, and beverage options, McDonalds is differentiating their menu and changing the image of the American fast food shrine. And they're holding to their diversity policy and hiring from all ethnicities. But come on McDonald's - we get it, you hire from all races. You don't need to brag every time you add another ethnic member to the team. Just sell food.

Mastication Inspiration

My jaw was killing me at work yesterday and I thought I might have TMJ. For those unaware, TMJ is a group of disorders that affect the upper joints of your jaw causing you major pain. I also don't know what TMJ actually stands for.

Now I don't really have TMJ, but I need something to think about at work and when you get a sharp pain every time you chew, that seems to stick out. I've also been talking to a friend in the show development department at work. Combining my lack or medical knowledge for the meaning of TMJ (and my apparent laziness of just Googling "TMJ") with my mind racing for some entertaining show ideas, here is what TMJ could stand for - if it were a mediocre tv series.

They Might be Jiants – Story of a Small Band Forced Into the Shadows Because Another Band Spelled Giants With A ‘G’ and Got Famous
THE Michael Jackson – From Moonwalk to Child Stalk
Talk, Mrs. Jeston – Investigating A Space Age Cartoon Murder
Torn Meniscus, Junior - A High School Soccer Career in Danger
Terry, Marge, Jessica – Charlie’s New Angels, With Surprisingly Normal Names
Tiki Masala Jamboree! – Down Home In New Dehli
Toxic Mayonaise Jam – Killer Condiment Parties
Taiwanese Michael Jordan – Like a Bull in a China Shop (Actually in China)
Telly May Jump - Savalas Contemplates Suicide
Tackling My Jesuit – Football With a Monk
Totally Magic Johnson - Hosted By a Man Who's Certain of NBA Great's Identities
The Molasses Junction - The Slowest Train in the West
Tequila, Mars, Jupiter - Distinguishing Planets From Liquor
Tim McGraw’s Journal – Like It, Love It, Read More Of It or Things I Hate
About Faith Hill But Can’t Tell Anyone
Too Many Javelins – When Track and Field Teams Overpack
Tea Meets Juice! – War At The Breakfast Table
Tea Mauls Juice! – War At the Breakfast Table: The Aftermath
Twelve Meals in July – How To Lose Weight By Eating One Day A Week
Tell Mr. Jeeves - When You're Sick of Asking Him

Take Notice

I just had a moment of clarity.

I am sitting at my desk eating an organic vegan microwaveable shepherd's pie while working on a reality tv wedding show for a style oriented channel.

Sometimes you see your choices in the flesh and they give pause. I'm not saying I thought I'd be a cage fighter or anything, but the above sentence sounds like a letter home from the front lines of the Martha Stewart Youth Army.

Now I'm depressed. I'm gonna go eat some quiche.